Goddam doctors

So I got my MRI results back and they were not good to say the least. I mean I knew they weren't gonna be great but I don't think I was ready for that! Anyhoo, all week I have been trying to get some answers from my Consultant, all I bloody want is a quick phone call to ease my worries and perhaps book in my operation.  I have been waiting since Monday it is now Thursday, I have rung everyday! Seriously, how rude! I think I am gonna lose it soon!

Trying to get to work!

So here I am again with the struggle of trying to get to work. I have to leave the house in 5 minutes time and yes, my stomach had decided to start cramping and I need go get to the toilet FAST! I am now scared to leave the house in case it happens again on the way to work which it will inevitably do - and I can't get to a toilet! I DO NOT repeat DO NOT want to have an accident! But my dilemma is that I need to go to work as I need the money and I do not want to lose my job, I like my job in all reality I just find it a struggle with my illness. I can't keep doing this going round in circles all the time! 

My struggle

I just wish people could understand Endo a lot more without them having to experience it obviously as I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It is a constant struggle for me to get myself to work at the moment as some days I just want to stay in bed or curled up on the couch with my heat packs, so I have been having a hell of a lot of time off recently. 

Don't get me wrong my employers have been absolutely fabulous about all my time off in fact I am amazed I haven't been sacked yet! I just hate the fact that people don't GET my disease at all, they're think it is just some bad period pain I experience once a month. 

Not the pain in my hips, my belly, my back, down my legs that I experience all the time. Not the pain I get when go to the toilet or the diahorea or constipation. Not the chronic fatigue which leaves me exhausted. Not the mood swings I get because of the pain I am in and I just want to take it out on someone - normally those closest to me. Not the fact that I am also infertile because of this disease or the fact that I am now on anti depressants because of all of these things and that I struggle to cope.  I try to put a smile on my face and pretend everything is ok when inside I am screaming! 

Crappy Monday Cont....

So, I'm at work and struggling now. I only have an hour and 20 mins to go - thank god! My back is killing me, my whole pelvis hurts and I am knackered! Had to buy myself a rather large can of Red Bull to get myself through the afternoon!

Crappy Monday

Ok my Monday has started off pretty crappy, hardly got any sleep last night due to Endometriosis pain AGAIN! Tried to catch up on sleep this morning but couldn't and now am off to work feeling exhausted and still in pain. Have to face 7 hours of sitting in the same position whilst my back kills me! I know right, you would think sitting down would be ok, but nooooo it goddam hurts! I have the constant dilemma about going to work as I know I can't keep having this much time off and keep my job, but seriously some days it is just impossible to drag my ass out of bed!